Our “Why”

If you would have asked me at Christmas last year if I wanted to homeschool I would have quickly told you that you’ve “lost you mind”, “bumped your head” or just simply laughed in your face! Heck, even in February, just 2 short months ago I would have said exactly that I think! Our God has an amazing sense of humor and His plan (thankfully) is so much better and more grand than our own. I can only say that all of this is a God thing. I can't do it without Him and believe that I am called to do it... for however long, but for now, next year I know.

When I was growing up you could always tell the difference between the homeschool kids and the public school kids- even the difference between the public and private most of the time. There is still lingering jokes about "homeschool kids"...  They were unsocialized, really really smart and ... well weird! I am a very social person and my children may even beat me in that arena! The homeschool group now is not what it used to be, or what I thought it was. Now that I am older and see it from this side I would say that maybe those kids we thought were unsocialized, maybe they didn't want to be around us! They don't have to like the same things as us and most of the time they ARE smarter and even a little weird and they embrace it! My oldest is totally made for this! 😉 Which brings me to my first point and the main reason we started even weighing the option : G is being held back. He is brilliant and WANTS to learn. He has to wait during school for HOURS while other kids finish and before the teacher will move on and even when the teacher does start he still feels they are just repeating and he doesn't learn anything new. He learns so much from my husband - who would really be the best teacher! G also has ADHD and when he is in a class of 28 students it is going to be very difficult to keep him focused on anything. Medicine helps wonders and he can stick to his work if it's something that he likes, but repeating over and over the same thing... he is ready to move on!
So, we started looking at private schools. We figured smaller classes and perhaps more advanced classes... this wasn't necessarily the case. We loved the schools... not so much the money for him to go! Wowzers, it's expensive and I'm just talking tuition and not fees, uniforms and childcare... and we have three! (not that we were looking to put all 3 in a private school yet)

So, when you bring money into the equation that will change a lot. We had to look at all options. My sweet sweet friend, Jessica, homeschools and does an amazing job. I wanna be her! She's so organized and  strong and an amazing cook and wife and mother. She came down to talk to me about what homeschool would mean - what it may look like - and I was still hesitant. We had been praying specifically about what to do, but haven't felt the clear "yes" to any school, but I was fighting HARD to say no to homeschool. God wouldn't let me ignore it though. Jessica brought a box full of books and the kids sat down and started devouring them! (they had no clue we were even thinking of homeschool by the way, because let's face it, what kid would really say no to it?!) I could see how nice it would be to let them read at their own pace, learn at their own pace - with quite a bit prodding from me of course! - but to see the light, you know that bulb over their heads just turn on! It made me tear up.

This was later that night and they were still reading!

In this box was a workbook that Jessica had bought years ago and didn't use. It was for determining if the child is ready for 5th grade ... the grade that G will be in next year. Ok, ok. I see You working here, God.

I started reading up on discerning God's voice... I wanted to know that this was right... I can't just quit my job, which I love by the way, and stay home with my three kids, who get on my nerves every day by the way! Yeah, I just didn't see it happening... until I kept reading and praying. You know how people will say that they will read a passage in the bible that they've read millions of times before, but for some reason this time they saw something different. Yep. That happened. I'd already started to feel led to the homeschool choice, but like I said I was fighting it! I was giving all kinds of reasons why it's a bad idea. These are just the 3 main ones:

1. I am so impatient with my kids already. Imagine me being with them all day.
2. I can't help even with homework without stressing because they aren't getting what I am saying.
3. I can't keep up with housework now, imagine how it would be with us there all the time.

I started seeing that I am impatient with my kids when I am in a hurry (which is just about everyday) because we are trying to rush to school, rush to church, rush to soccer practice and all while trying to eat, sleep and keep ourselves and the house semi-clean! I thought about how much time I get with the kids daily. I get a rushed hour in the morning (most of that is me hollering because they won't wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast and get back out the door), then I get close to a good two hours at night before it's bed time... that's 3 hours a day... 3 hours. No wonder I am feeling like I don't know my own children! The 2 hours I get at night is spent with more rushing to get homework done, dinner fixed, kids bathed and in bed at a decent hour and that's on nights that we get to come home and stay home!!! Yeah, that pretty much scared me. I am not being the mom I want to be. I am not showing my kids that loving mother that GOD wants me to be. Then I started seeing good scripture like Deut 6:5-7 telling parents to teach our children and Romans 12:2 telling us not to be conformed to the ways of this world. I decided to memorize Phil 4:6 and just keep praying over and over whenever this decision or my anxiety about it came back up.  I don't know what I was thinking I was going to get by going to God and asking for a clear answer... but I got one! During my bible study one morning the verses were Proverbs 3:5-10. How many times have you heard that you are to trust God with your whole heart and lean not on your own understanding and if you acknowledge Him then He will direct your path?? Really. I just about hollered when I read it because I just KNEW. I knew that God was showing me my path. We've got so many other choices. We are truly blessed with good schools all around and we could afford to send G and possibly even MG to private, but they weren't the right choice. I've always wanted to be a momma. That's always been my want in life. There is a difference between being a great mom and just a mom that I was being though. I want to BE THERE. I want to know EVERYTHING about my children. What they learn - how they learn... I don't know this at all! Of course I want to shelter them from the horrendous world, but then again that world is so beautiful and I want them to experience it! I want to be there to see it though. 

Meet the kiddos - our reasons WHY - G is 9, MG is 7 and W is 2

Our oldest will be 10 this year... that means he technically has 8 years left before he wants to move on (maybe!). I don't have that much time!! They say that 'the days go slow, but the years fly by' and my goodness that's the truth. I want to hold on tight!

MG is going to be going into 2nd grade and I have to learn how to teach her! She is the epitome of drama. Whew! 

W is two and a wild man! I've got to learn to homeschool the Bigs (this is what we lovingly call the older two. I'm surprised I haven't done that until now with all this rambling!) while making him a part of it... yeah, it's going to take a bit to get the hang of it. I am really excited though!

SO, that was a really long ramble, but now you know the major reason why we chose homeschool. We are going to be changing our way of life BIG time. More of that to come!